whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
