Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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