I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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