Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
