It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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