Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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