The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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