South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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