He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize