Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
