How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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