her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
