Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
