dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
