Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
