Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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