In the future we'll all be gay
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize