Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she looked like the before picture.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
