I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
