There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
