turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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