going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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