did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
