I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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