Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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