glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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