I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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