is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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