Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize