you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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