Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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