Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
