I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
