if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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