I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize