There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
