i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
