Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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