It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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