Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
