New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
