I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
