happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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