The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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