i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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