Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
