i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
