I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
