I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
