I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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