i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
