It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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