Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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