your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
