I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize