Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
