just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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