youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I need help removing her.
My balls are so social today.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
