I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
