imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
