I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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