he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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