We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
