she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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