i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
