I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
