I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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